But I AM Trying...and That I Know

It is hard to blog frequently, dear friends. That is not to say that I find myself at a loss for words or have writer's block or anything of the sort. There are times that blogging is just not an option. Formulating the thoughts required to craft something that I have to be entertained by, at least in some small part, would be way too much of a chore and tedium+blogging=not fun.

Then again, Banana Republic+nine hour shifts+a store whose full-time management team can't seem to get along or complete their tasks=not fun as well. Now, mutiply that 9 hour shift by 7 and you have how many hours I have worked since Christmas. SUPER NOT FUN!

Still, the Banana does afford me much entertainment. Take today, for instance. This annoying customer who we all avoid every time he comes in waltzes in and demands several things from me. Included in that list were the items he put on hold before Christmas (expecting us to still have them, despite the 24 hour hold policy which, according to him, I wrote), black pants for his asian girlfriend whose size he doesn't know (she is kinda short with no hips...thanks), and the price of a pair of pants hanging in the sale section (clearly marked with their sale price). Now, I am more than willing to help any customer out with whatever they need. Hell, I put up with languages I have no hope of or desire to understand day in and day out, but I remain unphased. He, however, is better than all of those other people. He is God, an Adonis, an avatar...truly.

Upon entering the store he cuts in front of everyone in the line and demands service. After telling him he would have to wait just a moment he snaps, "I thought Banana was known for customer service. Guess I was wrong."

Yep, ya were. Fucking asshole.

Then he demands I leave the cashwrap to help him and, in an effort to avoid a scene and with the permission of the women in the line I went to help him find prices. When I tell him that I don't know how much the brown pants in the back are off the top of my head, given I have no idea what he is describing and he won't check himself, he demands to see my manager. Well, shit outta luck there, bud. Still, he goes up to Maggie and tells her that my service ethic is horrible (which is odd given my exemplary record with the company) and that I should never say I don't know how much something is or I don't know this or that or blah blah.

He then tells me to find him the pants (which are "too freakin' expensive," which is what you would have to pay for the service he expects) at another store since I had not held them for him. I had not held the pants he put on hold a week before I came back to VA. Silly me.

So, I go on the computer, my head hanging heavy from the barrage of insults, and attempt to find him these oh-so-expensive $30 pants (eat it, fucker).

"They have them at Tysons...and that I know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going home."

It felt so good. He started ranting to the other cashiers about how rude I was and asking what my name was (thankfully they responded that I was named "Matt") because he was gonna have me written up, tried, then hanged.

Of course, I will admit that a big part of my job is filtering the barrage of sarcastic comments that make their way in to my head. I do it pretty well, but today there were mitigating circumstances. After all, last night was New Years and I had work at 9AM. He came in at 5:50 PM, ten minutes until close and the end of my shift. Not only that, but I was hammered last night (I mean drunk off my ass) and had taken to the task of starting this new year with my head resting on the Banana Republic staff toilet, puking my brains out. That was my day. Puking in a public toilet while dealing with irate morons who think that getting an addition 10 fucking percent off of pants that are already on sale is a good use of time. What a dumbass.

Whew, it feels good to get that off my chest. The onslaught continues tomorrow from 130-1030. It will be like that another three days before I finally get a day off. Ten days in a row at the place...not good.

At least I do have something to look forward to: I'M GOING SKIING IN VT IN TWO WEEKS! WOOOOO!

Ok, enough excitement. However, before I toddle off to bed, heed my advice: never let the black man getcha down.

G'night (and no, I'm not a complete racist, but he was black. The two have nothing to do with each other, I know, but one of the cashiers tonight was black and she said I could chalk it up to that...so nah).

I did just realize that my last blog was not so friendly towards the Asians so I think that my next entry will involve the degradation of hispanic peoples...not that they can afford to shop at Banana Republic. Oh wait, there's a sale on now! YES! Fodder!